life | make it happen may
1:47 PMthe beginning:
nikki phillippi is a lifestyle youtube guru that i have been subscribed to for over a year. recently she started doing monthly themes & for the month of may she did one titled make it happen may. this is the first theme i have ever participated in & i knew this was one that i needed to incorporate into my life in general. so i believe the night after watching the video i broke down my life into 4 categories: finances, school, task & happiness.
as stated in my post take control of your happiness, i haven't been feeling happy for the past 5 months. & i know why too, it's just i need to let myself know that happiness doesn't just happen, but i have to work at it, & be thankful for what i already have because it can be a lot worst.
get over it:
in my previous post i stated that i have been unhappy for sometime now. that so many things are changing and are definitely not going my way. so one night as i was going to sleep, i was listening to one of joel's sermons titled "get over it." i felt this podcast came at a time where i really needed to get over a lot of things. one thursday i just decided to get over everything that had been bothering me for months: people, things, jobs, etc. i just wanted to be 100% happy and i knew in order for that to happen i had to let go of the things that were hurting me, and make room for what feels good.
take control of your happiness:
so, let's sum up may:
- i ended a few relationships. it was hard, but i knew deep down inside those relationships were hurting me and making me become a person i didn't want to become.
- i stepped out of my comfort zone (which is on my goal sheet on the fridge). i tell myself not to be afraid to live outside my comfort zone almost all of the time, because i'm one of those people who does not do well with change. but then i have to realize that some of your best life experiences & opportunities will transpire only after you dare to try.
- i have realized there's going to be bad days. it takes living through those bad days to really appreciate how wonderful the good days actually are.
- i stopped dwelling on what could be. i also stopped worrying.
- i spent more time with friends. i spend a lot of time with my family because i know they won't disappoint me (or they will, just not all the time). i caught up with my bestfriend & attended her daughter's graduation. went to see fast & furious 6 + munch on taco mac with my friend david, celebrated with my friend ralph at his going away party. he's off to continue his acting career in cali.
- watched two movies, we bought a zoo and mary and martha (omg. i cried this entire movie). these two movies made me happy and helped me realize the importance of family, love and going after whatever you are passionate about.
- watched a document on zach sobiech. it is a 22 minute video on his life before dying of cancer. david sent me this video and i literally cried the entire time. his story really makes me appreciate what i have, who is in my life and just to be grateful that i am alive. things could be a lot worst. he just shared 22 minutes of his life, and I feel like i am better for it. such a touching story.
overall, when i look back at the past 6 months, it has been overwhelmingly scary yet exciting at the same time. the feelings associated with growing up are funny and perplexing sometimes; especially when you don't handle change very well. if i could freeze certain aspects of my life and keep them that way forever, i probably would. i guess one of the things i miss most is stabilization in my life, which i seem to have none at the moment. everything feels semi-permanent. not really my own yet, not really familiar. i miss familiarity. i miss it a lot. so i am trying to take it all in stride and move forward with faith. i suppose that's the best that any control freak can do. so, here's to the next chapter of my life :)
2 comments
I need that note pad in my life lol
ReplyDeleteit's a great investment.
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