heart to heart: take it with a grain of salt

12:17 PM

life has it's ups & downs. even for those of us who feel we live a healthy & happy life. as of lately i have been feeling a little stressed, & i know it's stress because i've felt stress in the past & this feeling is quite similiar. when i started my previous job, i was super excited because i was fresh out of high school going directly into the government. i knew that i would be getting higher pay & better benefits, & at that point in my life that's all i really cared about when it came to working.

i was a full-time student, like i am now & money was very important to have. eventually i rented my first apartment & was able to get everything i wanted (plus more) because i saved a ton of money & spent it wisely (got a lot of deals) on items i needed & wanted for my first place. everything seemed perfect until i began hating my job. i realized that being an administrative assistant is not for me - it sucks! to sit in an office for 40 hours a week & move money from account to account was not fun. & because i did my job well & was liked by so many at work, i was promoted 3 times & pretty quickly compared to my other coworkers.

but after that happy rush of being promoted, i remembered that this is just a job & not my dream career. i felt like i was suffering everyday i heard my alarm clock go off at 5AM so i could get to work on time by 7:30AM. it was no fun, so i started looking for a new job after being with the company for almost 3 years. i had 3 interviews out of maybe 9 jobs i applied for between january 2011 to june 2011. i had a few call backs, but once i heard the schedule or the salary, i declined. so eventually i accepted a job at my school. from what my boss told me, i was her only favorite during the interview process. she wanted to hire me right away, but i knew i had to train the people at my current job before i left. now i work in counseling. i figured this would be great because i am a psychology major & i can learn what the graduate students do through the program.

well, that's actually not the case. in the beginning i was super excited about this job as i was about my last & the one before that. i am still not happy with where i am. the people here are nice & my schedule is flexible because i decide when i want to work, but the pay is not that great (i work part-time so i can focus on my studies) & i really don't do much. i also want a house, so i'm looking for another part-time or a full-time job that pays at minimum $15 per hour.

i model part-time, i do some youtube work part-time & i still don't feel like i'm where i need to be. yes, i understand money doesn't grow on trees, but to me $50,000 or less a year does not cut it, even if you're young as me with really no obligations. so i am on the hunt for a new job! something that will keep me mobile, traveling the states (or world), where i can wear my clothes & be girly, where i can socialize with different walks of life, make lots of money & most of all love what i do!

my life goal is to become a psychologist, but at the moment i can't do much without a completed master's degree & my psychologist license. so until then, i want something fun to do that's flexible with my studies.

i spoke with two coworkers & they both made me feel really good about myself. one told me that patience is a virtue & to work hard now, so when the rewards come i can really enjoy them & they will last longer. my other coworker said something similar & that once i get to a spot where i'm comfortable & love what i do, i will know it in my heart. that was some of the best advice i have received all week, it really put an extra pep in my step...

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